fishydreams

Every now and then I send off a bit of writing to Fly Fishing and Fly Tying Monthly in the hope they may decide to publish it. If they do accept my little article I get a modest remuneration that, as it happens, almost exactly equals the cost of an annual subscription. So, the way I see it, if I get one article published each year I get to read the best magazine out there (the editor may be reading this!) for free.

The editor of this splendid publication is no less a man than the great Mark Bowler who is, without question, the finest human being who has ever walked the earth and also the best fisherman (I have recently sent him another article and, like I say, he may be reading this).

There are two things about the magazine that are not generally known. Even the cerebral Mr Bowler only knows one of them.

The first is that it is, to my knowledge, the only fishing magazine to have had an excerpt included in an A Level English Language exam when article I wrote about taking my son out to catch his first trout found its way into a paper in March this year.

The second thing is that, again to the best of my knowledge, it is the only fishing magazine to have featured in a standup comedy routine. This performance took place several years ago and, though I have lost the original script, I can remember it well enough to recreate at least the general gist of it, or at least the relevant part.

Let me just clear my throat and I will give it another blast…….

Ready?

Ahem………

When I was a teenager I became aware of a certain kind of magazine in the newsagent. I´m sure they were always there but they never came particularly to my attention. I suppose it is fair to say that magazines of this kind would not be to everybody´s taste and featured content that was pretty much exclusively of interest to adult males……

I remember taking a copy down from the shelf and opened it up to see what was inside…..

It was absolutely fantastic! I had never seen anything like it. There were pictures and everything!

So I immediately took out a subscription…….

I knew my parents would never approve and so I made a point of being around when the post was delivered and quickly grabbed a copy and brought it upstairs and added it to a stash I kept under my bed. I read them night when nobody was around.

Then one day as I was doing some homework my Mum came into my room and was tidying some things up when she saw them…

Next thing she is reaching into my stash and she lifts up a half a dozen copies! I´ll never forget her expression! Her face was ashen. Without a word she walked out of the room and then downstairs to where my father was sitting.

Inevitably I was called down. I was dreading this moment but there was nothing I could do. I walked down the stairs to find my parents were both sitting on the settee. The magazines were piled on the coffee table.

They made me sit in silence opposite them.

My father spoke first.

So, young man, THIS is what you consider to be suitable reading material?

Well, let´s have a look shall we?

The September issue of……

Fly Fishing and Fly Tying Monthly!

BOOM BOOM!

Well I guess this will keep me out of trouble for a while…….