I´ve got to be honest. I am really not sure about Santa Claus. Doubts have been brewing in my mind for some time and I have developed two different hypotheses.

 The first is that he simply does not exist at all, unbelievable as that may sound. A lot of people seem to say this, mainly children.

 The second is that he does exist but he is a mean-spirited sod. This may seem like a harsh thing to say but there is some evidence to support it. For a start, at the sixth form Christmas bash “Secret Santa” got a present for all of the people in the room except one. Guess who?

And another thing, have you noticed how Santa gets really cool and expensive toys for the kids of rich families and the kids from the wrong side of the tracks get worthless crap or nothing at all? What the hell is on his mind? Surely he should give the poor kids a break, after all the parents of the rich kids can make sure they don´t want for anything.

No, Santa seems to like to preserve the status quo and I´m pretty pissed off that he hasn´t given me a damn thing since I was a kid.

 If hypothesis number two is correct and he does actually exist, I thought I might ingratiate myself to him by forging a letter and send it off to the North Pole. I pretended it came from my own kids and bank on him not realising they are now both teenagers and no longer in the business of writing to Santa. I have reproduced a copy of the letter below which will appear if you double click on it.

 Who knows? It might be a long shot.

Santa letter